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stalinistqueens:

mamasam:

ru-debega:

theserif:

tort-time:

littlefootdoesstuff:

cyberalpaca:

Pet your turtles, they enjoy snugglies more than pain

I feel like this is especially appropriate for cars and turtles in the road.

And don’t drill holes in them or paint em. Its painful and toxic and you’ll make the poor things cry! 

Our turtles love having their heads and chins scratched.  And a light pat on their shells.  No hits, or thumps.  They love good pets, please pet them with love.

Shells are LITERALLY their backbone, imagine if someone thumped you hard on the spine. It would suck right? Don’t do it. 

Also their shells are covered in a VERY thin layer of fingernail-like material called scutes. When you paint it, a) it’s very easy for the toxins in the paint to absorb into the turtle’s system and poison them, b) it cuts off circulation to the thin layer of living skin below the scutes, c) it deforms the shell because turtles, especially young turtles, grow rapidly and the paint will inhibit proper shell growth and d) prevents the turtle from absorbing necessary vitamin D from UV rays (you know, that stuff they need to live). NEVER EVER PAINT A TURTLE EVER.

Next time you want to knock on a turtle/tortoise shell, go ask your neighbor to punch you in the ribs, and see how that feels. Not only is it the spine, but their lungs sit near the top of the curve as well—THIS IS WHY TURTLES/TORTOISES CAN DIE IF LEFT FLIPPED OVER TOO LONG, IT IS VERY DISTRESSING FOR THEIR BODIES.

be gentle with living beings you are responsible for.

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hod-the-blind:

dx11:

mancermechro:

not sure why people don’t automatically say “shapeshifting” when asked what they want their superpower to be. you could become anyone you want. even fictional characters. anyone. cosplay would always be spot-on. dysphoria wouldn’t exist. perfection

rob a bank and disguise yourself as a stray pen lying on a shelf when the cops come

A pen with a shit ton of money lying next to it.

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songofages:

kendronamore:

troylerkiss:

kendronamore:

Jfc is Canadia even real

I live in Canada and I’m not even sure.

60 notes in and no one has noticed that I spelled Canada wrong…nailed it

It’s ok the leader of our country also thinks its Canadia.

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unamusedsloth:

Baby goats aka kids are for everyone.

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mentaltimelord:

Finding a really attractive person who doesn’t know who you are yet

Realizing they’re probably not gay, single, or into you at all in any way

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gendeerfluid:

i did this a long time ago and demetri got mad when he found out i never posted them

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bunmer:

He returns

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agpicklefeet:

I see your stab-dads and raise you exile-parents :D tbh I’ve been meaning to draw this for ages now and I’m hella proud of how it came out! :>

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mariowiki:

Holy shit

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cassjaytuck:

what if you started making car alarm noises when people you didn’t like touched you

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proletarianprincess:

underwatercavess:

proletarianprincess:

whenever i get an essay assignment i immediately go “how can i work a feminist and anti capitalist rant into this”

How about focus on the fucking essay and not make everything about your passions? You don’t see me making a rant about whales in every fucking essay I get.

i study sociology and politics, its always relevant you fucking weirdo. go fuck a whale or something.

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mamakankri:

i like to think kankri throws tantrums like a 5 year old and you cant tell me otherwise so here have a gif

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gangbangs:

who would name their kid zoey 101 

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tinarannosaurus:

"But do bring me a snack. Chocolate!"

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